Well, once again, I'm in a pot hole, I have to tutor a freshman, which I took the offer because, Extra Credit for all my classes were in it. I didn't realize til' after thursday two weeks ago that he was retarded then a mental child. He has ADD, which I understand, but for some odd reason he can't control it, I can with mine, I don't take any medication or anything. The kid is smart, he just gets distracted every ten minutes, I'm trying so many methods to get him away from distraction. So far it's going good.
He's a sweetheart, I don't know what else to say, I understand his feelings and emotion, I don't mean to yell at him, it's a habit. I apolagize and he forgives me because he goes through the same rampage as I do. It's stress, I can't take the bullying and rumors at school and the anger and bullying at home, I'm defensless everywhere I go. It's not the kids fault it's my fault, I wish I didn't have a life of hell. But either way, I'm in hell or in hell's hands every second.
My day so far turned out to be the worst, but some what OK. To start out I feel like beating up people or a specific person, I don't want to say his name. And it's not the kid I'm tutoring, don't think like that. it's a kid in my Performing Arts Class, he's nice, but to me, mentally, he's just ignorante. I kept it to myself, I don't like to judge, he's a student and has the same equal rights to not get beat up. He was judging, but in my term directing me on my scene, when I wasn't on, I was getting upset a little, I tried with all my heart to get the scene right. But judging upon someones acting is harsh, I know I'm not the one who shouldn't be talking about judging, but he has no right at all. I know, all I said was "at least I don't have to do Shakesperean, or go up twice, technically stay on stage a little longer." But that's not judging on acting, that's judging on how long of stardom for him, I like his scene, but it sounds like that he doesn't like mine, because I'm annoying.
Yes I'll admit, I'm very annoying, stupid, idiotic, and a pussy; still he was more harsher on me then I was on him. I don't even care if we're not friends anymore, I'm sick and tired of every person in my school making fun of me because I'm a freak or weirdo, it's just who I am. It's not my fault my God or Godess created me to be like this, I didn't choose, I wish I was able too. I just want to be dumped into a mental hospital because I'm talking like this. If the person I'm talking about is reading this... you know who you are... If you got something to say about me, personally, face me, I'm not afraid what you say.
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